It seems slightly odd to be writing about events that took place what seems like years ago. However, having gathered my thoughts on events that took place at the tail end of last summer I have drawn a few conclusions and now feel as though I am in a position to attempt an articulated argument as we enter the new year and leave past events behind us.
I highly doubt that this is a blog that has any avid followers, mainly because my contributions are so sporadic, but if anyone happened to be reading towards the start of last summer they may be familiar with a film review I wrote after watching the 2015 comedy Trainwreck. As part of this rather shambolic review I attempted something in my writing that I have always avoided as a basic rule, and that was to draw attention to my own personal experiences. The film evoked an unusual panoply of feelings and thoughts and so it only made sense for me to mention these, as a means of showing just how much of an impact the film had on me. The experiences I vaguely mentioned concerned a relationship that had recently reached an end, however I made sure not to mention any names or to go into specific details out of respect for the privacy of others. It would have been wrong of me to recall specific events or divulge in anything too personal and so the review itself was honest and conveyed only information pertinent to the film in question. I feel as though I responded with a state of equanimity and maturity instead of simply resorting to immature insults and public shaming. The review was largely well received and the support was very encouraging, however the internet can be a cruel mistress, as many of us know all too well.
Upon returning to university in September I found myself socialising among a familiar crowd at a house party, swapping stories of our summers and expressing our admiration for Stranger Things. A reference that now appears outdated. I digress. It was during this particular evening that someone, who shall remain nameless, approached me and requested that I apologise for the aforementioned blog post. At first I was confused and thought that they merely disagreed with my judgement on the film, as often is the case. It prevails that they were instead suggesting that I needed to apologise to another individual, who shall also remain nameless. An interesting request considering the review contained no content that could be seen as directly or indirectly hurtful.
Now I confess that while I am usually quite good at thinking on my feet and riposting to comments that I find unsettling, this was not one that I could immediately respond to. At the time I feigned ignorance and hedged until the conversation topic changed, simply putting the request in my back pocket. I was quite clearly annoyed, but I couldn't work out exactly what it was that had annoyed me, however after taking some time to gather my thoughts the answers have presented themselves. Firstly, I was annoyed because my recollection of events in the review were not distasteful or hurtful, but were purposefully vague, truthful and relevant. It would not make sense for me to mention events impertinent to those depicted in the film, and if I were to have explored my own experiences in detail then clearly it would have been tangential to the norms and expectations of a film review, and would be surplus to requirements. Consider this: what exactly would I have achieved if I had insulted someone online? It wouldn't have made me feel better, it wouldn't have shown that I was a better person, and it certainly would not have been behaviour you would expect from someone in their early twenties. Evidently, it shows no discernible skill or talent to insult someone online, it just shows how emotionally and creatively bankrupt a person is, which is why I deliberately took the time to ensure that my work had no malicious subtext. Secondly, and this is the real crux of the argument, I was annoyed at the request to apologise for my review because never before had I been asked to apologise for being emotionally engaged in a piece of art.
Again I have thought long and hard about this incident, and for a brief moment I did consider apologising as a means of maintaining social harmony. However, I wish to make it unabashedly clear that I will not be apologising for the aforementioned blog post in any shape or form. I think it is utterly ridiculous to even suggest the notion of someone apologising for having found a piece of art relatable. One of the true beauties in this world is that art so often reflects real life, and can offer people solace in dark times. Of course we like music because it sounds good and we like films because they're pretty moving pictures, but the fundamental reason we all have an appreciation for art forms is because they deliver a message that resonates with us. The art that means the most to us, that we carry with us as we grow older, is the art that speaks to us and delivers a message that echoes through the years. Everyone has that one piece of art that means the fucking world to them, that they can depend on when they're in an awful mood and need cheering up. We all have that one film that lets us know the world isn't ending and that things are going to get better, or that one song we can listen to just to remind us that not everything in this world is shit, or that one book we can read over and over again that will take us on a journey away from everything negative in our lives. The world is full of so much negativity, and when things get tough none of us really know what to do, but I tell you what makes the hard times easier ninety nine percent of the time: art. We look to art because it has the capacity to say what we've always wanted to say but couldn't, which is why we have that one song we listen to over and over again when a loved one passes away, or that one film we cling to when everything is going wrong in life. It is a basic part of human nature to relate to a piece of art, and the suggestion that I should apologise for having found solace in a piece of art during a tough time is one that genuinely upsets and angers me.
Now I'm not about to pontificate about every art form because that's not really my forte, but when it comes to films I could talk all day about cinema that I have found relatable over the years, or the films that have spoken to me when I needed encouragement, which is partly why I love films so much. It's not just because I appreciate the infinite beauty of a diverse art form that I find fascinating to read about and research, it's because there are so many writers out there who have the immeasurable talent of being able to create work that resonates around the world. Screenplays writers have the ability to write a film that speaks to a million people, and resonates with them for a million different reasons. People I have never met before can produce this wonderful piece of art that speaks directly to me and has the capacity to lift my spirits. When I'm upset or feeling confused or just generally feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I go straight to my collection of favourite films. Annie Hall, Before Sunrise, Casablanca, Clerks, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Good Will Hunting, Groundhog Day, Kings of the Summer, Lost in Translation, Punch-Drunk Love, fucking Raiders of the Lost Ark, these are all films I know I can watch when everything is going wrong and they will all give me different reasons to laugh, or to smile, or to cry. Every time I watch these films I find more ways to fall in love with them, and I feel as though I am forever in debt to the brilliant minds that brought these films to me, because without them I don't think I would be the person I am today. I love each and every one of those films, and more that feature among my favourites, but would I ever apologise for finding relatabilty or solace in them? Not for a second.
Of course it's not exclusively my favourite films that I hold close to me, and I'm not trying to suggest that Trainwreck is even close to being a favourite film for me, but at the start of the summer it was a film that really impacted me. It wasn't just an entertaining experience that made me laugh, it was another voice saying that they had been through similar circumstances and they've emerged at the other side as a better person. It was a piece of art that brought me a lot of comfort and joy in a particularly dark time, it helped by displaying uncanny events on screen and by reassuring me that other people are in the same place as me. I shouldn't have to apologise for that. I made sure that throughout my review I wasn't distasteful or inaccurate, which is why names and specific details are withheld, and my description of events is kept to the very minimum. I didn't want the focus of my review to be placed upon events from my own life, but I felt it imperative of me to at least mention them so I could convey just how the film had spoken to me as an individual.
I decided to write about Trainwreck because it meant a lot to me at the time and I found that it was a piece of cinema that was relatable, and I simply do not find that to be something worth apologising for. If certain people found it offensive then that's unfortunate, but as a very close friend said to me when I told them about this controversy "if you throw a rock at a pack of wolves, the one that howls is the one you've hit." I find films relatable, as many people do, and I don't think this will ever be something to apologise for. If I have a teacher that ignites my passion for poetry then fuck it, I'm going to find The Dead Poets Society relatable. If my manager sends me to Bruges to kill a fellow colleague then fuck it, I'm going to find In Bruges relatable. If I'm stranded on a desolate spacecraft with an alien pursuing me then fuck it, I'm going to find Alien relatable. If I'm caught in a rebellion against an intergalactic dictatorship then fuck it, I'm going to find Star Wars relatable, regardless of how Darth Vader feels about that. If I'm trying to provide for my wife and child by stealing chickens but I've got three farmers trying to shoot me then fuck it, I'm going to find Fantastic Mr Fox relatable. If I'm working in retail and struggle to find motivation on a daily basis then fuck it, I'm going to find Clerks relatable. And I sure as hell know that if I'm on the other side of a difficult relationship that ended badly then I'm going to find a middle-of-the-road cheesy american romantic comedy relatable, and I simply will not apologise for that.
