100 Word Reviews - Bad Santa (2004)

I’m struggling to think of something to say about Bad Santa, because it is so utterly redundant. It’s not particularly festive, it’s not funny or interesting, and it’s certainly not a platform to showcase any discernible acting ability. It was one of the first in what now seems like a yearly tradition of obscene films released around Christmas time, to provide a low standard of comedy and an almost non-existent level of entertainment. It stands as one of the many films released purely to be outrageous, without having any hint of personality, like a strand of cress in a vindaloo. 

100 Word Reviews - The Nightmare Before Christmas (1994)

This is one of the best alternative Christmas films ever made. Creating a strange composite of Christmas festivities and Gothic arthouse, offering a unique experience that explores the very nature of Christmas, whilst providing a simplistic Gothic romance and a timeless soundtrack of peculiar original songs. It is a visual treat, with a stripped down but unique style that is both fun and creative, yet strangely haunting. Fight the common misconception that this is a film for the strange kid who is obsessed with Tumblr, and sit back to enjoy one of the most beautiful Christmas films of all time. 

100 Word Reviews - Four Christmases (2008)

The prerequisite for a comedy is that it be funny, a concept that clearly no one explained to Vince Vaughn as he once again manages to star in a film that is as funny as 12 Years a Slave. I enjoy light-hearted Christmas comedies, but when they are this poorly written it is impossible to find any redeeming features. Vince Vaughn is like catnip for shit films, but Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall and Jon Favreau should really know better. Worse still, this film encourages violence, because upon watching it I felt a sudden urge to stab myself in the eyes. 

100 Word Reviews - The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

The work of Charles Dickens has been re-imagined a hundred different ways in a hundred different adaptations, most of which fall into the same trap of taking themselves too seriously. Thankfully, The Muppets provide a retelling that is a golden exception. It’s a fun and fresh adaptation that features some of our favourite Muppets as classic Dickens characters, and a fantastic leading performance from Michael Caine that really showcases his range as an actor. I have many fond memories of this film, and while it may not be perfect, for me the film encapsulates everything that is good about Christmas.

100 Word Reviews - A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

With so many talented people crammed into one film, and the genius of Sofia Coppola as director and writer, I have to wonder what went wrong. It’s not spectacularly bad, it just doesn’t amount to anything. If I’m watching a Christmas film then at the very least I want it to mean something. All this film delivers is a deflated festive balloon filled with cameos. I’m not angry, I’m just confused and disappointed that they didn’t capitalise on the tremendous opportunity they had. If you have Netflix then it is worth watching once, but don’t set your expectations too high. 

100 Word Reviews - Love Actually

There’s a popular erroneous assumption that men dislike this film, which is odd because there’s no correlation between gender and one’s appreciation of a superb romantic comedy. Richard Curtis is an outstanding writer, and this is unequivocally one of his best films. The ambitious ensemble cast is fantastic, with particularly brilliant performances from Bill Nighy, Colin Firth and Emma Thompson. What I like most about Love Actually is that it's such an unabashedly positive film. It's one that fills countless people with joy, and that's because it has a beating heart, three dimensional characters and a finely tuned sense of humour.

100 Word Reviews - The Santa Clause (1995)

This is the epitome of the over-sentimental nineties throwaway. Poorly acted and abysmally written, this film will surely make for a boring, cringe-fuelled festive experience for all of the family to despise. The film starts with the surreptitious murdering of Santa Claus, leading Tim Allen to slowly transform into a new Santa, in a strange homage to David Cronenberg's The Fly. It's cheap and nasty Saturday afternoon entertainment that is a tonal catastrophe and leaves a sour taste in the mouth. While DVD copies are scarcely purchased, there are undoubtedly countless VHS copies currently gathering dust in charity shops nationwide.  

100 Word Reviews - The Holiday (2006)

In time for Christmas, Hollywood delivers yet another dull film about white middle class citizens on a journey of self-discovery. Far from being the “cute” Christmas classic your secondary school classmates proclaimed it to be, this is arguably one of the most redundant romantic films of our time. The UK’s national treasure, Kate Winslet, is sent to America and replaced by Cameron Diaz, much like in science fiction horror when a human is replaced by a disguised, soul harvesting alien. It is a festive panoply of cultural stereotypes with an added mixture of self-indulgence, self-importance, and a sprinkling of consumerism. 

100 Word Reviews - Elf (2003)

While many hold this as a Christmas classic, I’d say this is a film I watch out of routine rather than for entertainment purposes. It has a certain level of charm and the performances are acceptable enough, however it is still far too overrated. Unfortunately the immaturity and oversentimentality are often mistaken for high quality humour and substance, both of which this film lacks significantly, causing me to feel annoyed rather than warm and fuzzy at Christmas. The funniest element is the fact the filmmakers saw no irony in casting Will Ferrell to play a man refusing to grow up.